Narrative lost. Blog ends.

It is time, I think, to end this blog for now. It is not that I run out of stuff to blog about. You know, life goes on, fun or boring, and I have always been able to put a spin or psychoanalysis on even the most mundane happening, squeezing a bit of significance to my own biography. So why now?

I think I've lost my narrative. The blog starts out as a self-confession of a typical, and maybe struggling, graduate student. It was quite amazing to discover a different voice, a voice that I had never uttered a word before, but it felt so uniquely my own at the very first moment. So I blogged on, with the series of my friends, my family and crushes as high watermarks. Writing them down made me re-experience the blogged episodes in a more real fashion, making me cry and laugh once a while, sometimes bringing back some memories that had long lost in the creek called time. But no more. I think I have changed, so I cannot pretend that I am still able to blog in the same narrative. Just look at some of my recent entries, which have lost the edge that I was most proud of this blog.
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In some way, blog (or social networking) is about self-branding. You start with a narrative and stick with it. Somehow, you will be lost in the margin of sincerity and pretension. Somehow, you get lost on whether it is you who define the blog or it is the blog that defines you. I obviously feel the pressure from the latter. With the burdens of all the previous entries, to keep blogging in a different voice, or as a different person, is alien to me.

Well, it is a good 3-year run, and it has shaped my thoughts and way of living in at least some subtle way. Would I have come out a different person without the blog? Probably not. But I am sure that I would have lost one important flavor in the plate of life experience. So bye to my blog, and bye to my rather limited reader pool. If you have been getting quick updates about my life from this blog, feel free to check in with me with quick emails. If I decide to start blogging again, it will be at husonghua.blogspot.com, which is currently empty!