My Crushes (IV)

I think this is my last post of My Crush series. Seriously, it does not even count, because I just viewed her as a dream girl, but not really in a sexual way. Let me call her Cercil.

She was in the modern dance group I was in a couple of years ago. To be honest, the people in the group was one major reason why I joined the group. That year, she was one of the group leaders. In my mind, she was the one who really put the group together. She could radiate the energy that cheers everyone up. No doubt about it, she is one of the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. But you know what, personality and look usually work together in my judgment about beauty, so calling her beautiful may just be doing some injustice here.

The first time I met Cercil was three years ago, when we were redoing a big dance piece together. Because some dancers have graduated, she was one of the new girls who joined in. She is not as a good dancer as the one she replaced, but the piece is better off with her. She was very serious in learning the piece, but I like her the most in lighter moments. For example, she and another girl were the first to appear on the stage. For a while, they were always one or two steps behind the music. Cercil would take it easy, sometimes making a face, sometimes just starting to laugh. I think everyone likes her, including me of course.

Once we were preparing for another people right before performance. We were all stretching in the backstage. I took out my camera. She saw it, and began to goof around. For a moment, she got down to the floor, crawling like a cat, a scene you can only see from strip club or something. Seconds later, she realized that she got carried away and was too silly in front of me. She brushed a little then. For me, that image was still in my mind. I am sure that was quite sexy, but every time I think about it, I was laughing while shaking my head, "such a free spirit".

To be sure, I haven't got too much chance talking to Cercil. However, when I talked to her, I realized how intelligent she is. While seemingly spontaneous as the dance group leader, she indicated that she actually thought through it quite carefully. She paid attention to every individual and tried to make everyone feel included. I am sure that my conversation with her was her way to make me part of the group. I really appreciated that. Without her, I do not think I would stayed in that group for three quarters.

She graduated one year ago and now back in Texas. I heard she had a surgery on her eyes, because something was detached or something like that. I thought that it was too stupid to call her for that. Luckily, once I was walking with a mutual friend, and Cercil called her. She handed me the phone. On the other side of the phone was again the familiar and cheerful voice. We promised to keep touch. Of course, we haven't since.

Once I Googled her name and found her portfolio online (she majored in architecture, urban design or engineer). It is full of sketches and paintings. Very beautiful. I never knew that she was such a good painter! Maybe in all our conversations I was always talking about me me me.

Anyway, as you can see, this one really does not count. I just feel that she is so perfect that it almost belittles me. I admire her more than I like her. In my widest dream, I should have a wife like Cercil. But in reality, I know I have been lucky enough to have danced with her.