Continue on friend Mayne

I finally went to meet again with my friend Mayne. It was a charity event, so I brought some binders and an internet router for "Homeless Network". Mayne and other organized the event, so she celebrated her 50th birthday while doing something good for the society.

She looked alright. Her friend Susan said she was crying the whole day, barely wiped her tears for the event. I did not ask why? Maybe too much stress for organizing the event? Worrying about too few people would eventually show up? Thinking about she is 50 and still single? I do not know. Sometimes I have to admit that either I am crazy or the rest of the world. What is on earth that I am thinking about those things? Am I supposed to live my own life? Anyway, I did not feel fit in for the event. They were mostly middle-aged women. I could spot that there were some homosexuals, which sorta confirm my suspision all along.

Anyway, what's the deal with the event anyway? In my judgmental mind, Mayne was a failure. No traditional family and no conventional career. However, she was happy during the event, even though the event did not really make a difference for the society. People were still homeless even with those binders and other stuff, hello. However, I hope that she would never know about this. Rather, she could boast about her wonderful 50th birthday when she is 70 years old. Surrounded by all the illusions, she would still be a happy person, crying sometime, but happy eventually.

She said she would call me again, since we did not spend too much time chatting that night. She was a busy person that night, you bet. But I do not think she will. That's really ok with me though. Sometimes people just get across each other in the intersection, stopping and chatting just because the traffic light happened to be red. Then people moved on. Hopefully, I had learned something from diverse life of people. No master design, maybe failuer in judgmental mind, but so what? I only hope I would be that cool in my real life as what I tried to convey in this blog.

Some wrap up for today. I fixed two bikes today. I think I enjoyed these manual laborings. However, my rationality told me I should read or write so that I would seem more intellegent and get better job and higher pays. I wonder whether being a failure could eventually make me happy, for example, fixing bike the whole day for a living.

I also finished a book called "Massachusetts, California, Timbuktu", by Stephanie Rosenfeld, today. I got this book in Mars during a tutoring session for Upward Bound. I was bored and accidentally picked up the book from the bookshelf. And I just loved it. For some reason, this book just provoked so many thoughts, about my mom and myself. The ending was a little disappointing, because nothing seemed to be resolved. However, when I really think about it, it is so true. I thought I was moving forward, but actually I was just stepping on the same spot.

Talking to people calmed me down. Really, my internal thoughts sometimes could overwhelm me, and talking to people or doing sports give me a break from that. So that's it.