Last night, before I went to bed, I wrote down the following.
"Now it is 00:48am. Today is the last day of the dance camp. I have the sudden realization that I might have done some injustice to the kids in the dance camp. I am not frigging Jesus Christ, and really have no firm ground to judge people as imperfect. Besides, we had a good time, and moral judgment is pale in front of the happiness. I do not want to leave a negative note on those dancers, because they are great. Here are some very silly episodes I want to tell.
There is one girl in the camp who is an amazing dancer. I always hid behind her so I can mimic the movements in dance classes. She is very poised and cool. Compared to other girls, she has a mental stage beyond her age. If there is anyone in the camp who actually saved money to pay for this camp themselves, I believe she is the one. You can say I am her secret admirer, or even have a little crush on her, or whatever. I have been dying to tell her that she is a great dancer, but never got a chance. Yesterday night, when we had a small party, she was one of those who did not go (She was too cool for that). When I walked pass her door, I found her door was open. So I knocked the door, and she was reading the most recent Harry Potter book. I stepped in and had some random talks about why she did not go to the party and whereabouts of her roommate. Then I told her that she should keep dancing, because she has such a talent in dance and a perfect personality to become a great dancer rahter than a dancer of cheerleading type, which I hate so much that I cannot even start to describe. Then I came out and felt great, just for no reasons.
I also played catchphrase with four young girls. I suspect one young girl might have a crush on me, because she stared at me a lot when she described the word. I had a great time. We were laughing so much that it almost felt like I am making up in this camp for all the bad times I had in the past year. One girl liked to say, “You are weird.” One girl was quite weird, doing mostly random things with spoons, cups, and cards. One girl was calm, and a little depressed. She has a pretty face. There must be something else going in her life that bothered her. One last girl is a friend of the third girl. She did not stand out in any thing, but she is a best friend.
I cannot believe everything is almost over. I am such a sucker, because I am so easy to get emotionally attached to people. I guess I have much love to give, but never really find a way. So every time I spent some good time with people, I wanted the time to stop. But time will pass, and memory will fade, and I will be with other people and hopefully will have as good a time as I have right now."
Ok, the dance camp is over. I am exhausted, but really happy that we took care of those kids very well. Last time I mentioned that if only one group of kids could remember me, I hoped it is the Upward Bound kids. Now I hope these dancers can too. I hope they will remember the big kid who performed hip-Hop on their side, who ran like a maniac in "capture the flag" and accidentally tackled down the girl I described as Liv Taylor before, who got so excited in "catch phrase" that the throat almost cracked. Some of you might remember me as "intense" and "guarded", some of you might remember me as "Sugar Ray" (because of a mistake in catch phrase), and others only remember me as "Songhua!" (emphasis on the exclamation mark). Whatever, but remember me.
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