I watched a movie "walk the line". Somehow, I was deeply touched. It is not like another cheap chick flick that used music and slow motions to make you cry. Rather, it calmly portraited a life that I am so in awe and admiration. Now I am listening to Jognny Cash's : At Folsom Prison. I have this album in my album in my ipod for a while, but now I have a very different understanding. It is now much more enjoyable.
One thing that struck me is that there is no wasted life. I tended to be very calculative about my time, trying to achieve the most benefits with lowest cost. But I felt small now. I felt I am not free. I am constrained by my rationality, trapped in my own jail and shouted but the noise was tiny. I hope one day I would be free, doing things I really like to do (comparing to now: I do not even understand what i want to with my future), and have a unique life experiences. The other thing is the relationship between Johnny and June. I mean, their relationship has been exaggurated, but heck, it is still amazing.
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
Saturday, November 19, 2005
Thanksgivings-"people's co-op" (Part I)
I think it is time to write one blog now. Last week is very hectic, and I did not do too well. I did not even find time to go for a run! However, I am taking a deep breath now, since this is the first day of the nine-day school recess for Thanksgiving. I feel it is time to log in a list of "thanks". The big thanks should go to the management team in my co-op. Here, I want to give a sketch for everyone, and this is my way to thank all of them for a solid quarter. I call the whole team as "people's co-op". It is the "p" entry of my friend blog.
A is the Resident Assistant (RA) for the co-op. He is tall and skinny. According to my understanding, he is a christian gay. I do not know how people can reconciliate gay with christian belief. But since religion is bullshit, I guess you can twist it in a way that you feel comfortable. A is funny cheerleader type. He is the champain of trivial knowledge. When we watch "family guys", he seems to understand all the jokes. I probably understand 1/10 of them. He usually lead the staff meeting. He made conscious decisions in making the meeting funny, but sometimes also makes the meeting too long, as he tried hard to make reference to something remotely funny. He has the capacity to be very mature and responsible, but for some reasons, he keeps coming back to his funny self.
B is the social manager. First of all, I do not like his working style. He can be very commited for something, but he can also be slacking off if he does not feel like it. Very impulsive and unrational. But as a team, I am happy we have him, as a lot of genius ideas coming out of him. For example, last party we had, we had a jumping castle and cotton candy machine. Amazing! I do not know him quite much, as he usually hung out with his gay friends or were busy in his product design homework. He could be selfish, as he stabbed in the back of the financial manager in a meeting with house supervisor. But as far as I could interact with him in a way that makes him feel alright, I have nothing to complain.
C is one of the kichten manager. She is "awesome", as people said on her facebook wall. She is indeed awesome, as she acts like a mother figure in the house. She has a lot of knowledge about managing the house. She is also tall and strong, which adds to her authority. She always wants things to be perfect. As a result, she is easily streesed out. I still do not understand why she does not have a boyfriend yet. IN my mind, she will be the best girlfriend. Well, men are strange animals, aren't they? She has a minor dialexia, which makes her have a hard time in academic studies. Indeed, from the bit and piece I know of, she sometimes could fail the exam or homework. It is too bad. Actually, she will probably move out of the house next year, as she partially blame the kitchen manager responsibility for contributing to her failing. I wish her the best luck, although I did not see that it really makes a big difference. Maybe one day she will find out, since she is such a well balanced person, academic failing is really no big deal.
D is kitchen manager 2. I can tell she does not particularly like me, as we are opposite of everything. She is on the track team of the school, and she is seductively pretty, especially when she smiles. She is super transparent, as you can tell whether she is happy or not by looking at her or having a simple conversation with her. Somehow, i think she is mad at me: In one email to the house, I forgot to put her name on the manager list. My bad.
A is the Resident Assistant (RA) for the co-op. He is tall and skinny. According to my understanding, he is a christian gay. I do not know how people can reconciliate gay with christian belief. But since religion is bullshit, I guess you can twist it in a way that you feel comfortable. A is funny cheerleader type. He is the champain of trivial knowledge. When we watch "family guys", he seems to understand all the jokes. I probably understand 1/10 of them. He usually lead the staff meeting. He made conscious decisions in making the meeting funny, but sometimes also makes the meeting too long, as he tried hard to make reference to something remotely funny. He has the capacity to be very mature and responsible, but for some reasons, he keeps coming back to his funny self.
B is the social manager. First of all, I do not like his working style. He can be very commited for something, but he can also be slacking off if he does not feel like it. Very impulsive and unrational. But as a team, I am happy we have him, as a lot of genius ideas coming out of him. For example, last party we had, we had a jumping castle and cotton candy machine. Amazing! I do not know him quite much, as he usually hung out with his gay friends or were busy in his product design homework. He could be selfish, as he stabbed in the back of the financial manager in a meeting with house supervisor. But as far as I could interact with him in a way that makes him feel alright, I have nothing to complain.
C is one of the kichten manager. She is "awesome", as people said on her facebook wall. She is indeed awesome, as she acts like a mother figure in the house. She has a lot of knowledge about managing the house. She is also tall and strong, which adds to her authority. She always wants things to be perfect. As a result, she is easily streesed out. I still do not understand why she does not have a boyfriend yet. IN my mind, she will be the best girlfriend. Well, men are strange animals, aren't they? She has a minor dialexia, which makes her have a hard time in academic studies. Indeed, from the bit and piece I know of, she sometimes could fail the exam or homework. It is too bad. Actually, she will probably move out of the house next year, as she partially blame the kitchen manager responsibility for contributing to her failing. I wish her the best luck, although I did not see that it really makes a big difference. Maybe one day she will find out, since she is such a well balanced person, academic failing is really no big deal.
D is kitchen manager 2. I can tell she does not particularly like me, as we are opposite of everything. She is on the track team of the school, and she is seductively pretty, especially when she smiles. She is super transparent, as you can tell whether she is happy or not by looking at her or having a simple conversation with her. Somehow, i think she is mad at me: In one email to the house, I forgot to put her name on the manager list. My bad.
Sunday, November 13, 2005
back to life
I finally can take a breath. Sorry that I did not keep up with the blog recently. I guess I have probably lost all my readers due to my laziness, but what the heck, because I am writing on.
I feel I am a lucky person in a lot of ways recently. Last year, I all of a sudden felt being cut off all the supportive network. I was stuck in the middle of two cultures and two continents. But this year, my perspective has changed. Remember I said I am applying for law school? Well, the reason why I was reluntant to say it out loud earlier is that I was afraid to alienate my “friends”, especially that I have been hiding this secret from them for such a long time. Errr, as it turns out, a lot of people are actually positive or nuetral. My Chinese friends, the soc fellows, the dance group, my fabulous staff members in my co-op, general residents in the co-op. Even my adviser and other professors are not pissed off by me. I guess most of them are doing that out of respect of my own decisions, and it by no means is full endorsement. However, half-assed nodding means a lot to me already. Thanks. It feels great that I am finally get rid of my secret and also know that it has not hurt anyone, although it might catch some of them off-guard. By the way, I am talking to Hope about her law school experience next Wednesday!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)