My friends (Mr. Q.)

I have promised that I would continue to blog about my friends. I will.

During my stay in Beijing, I met so many old friends. It sounds cheesy, but I still want to say that I was touched every day. They treated me well, and I am going to write about them. I will not be very selective here. What I will do is to blog about my friends I met, no matter how much I already knew them before. I try to give a random sample here.

The more I came back to China, the more I realize that I am here for a mission. A mission to pull all the old friends together, to have a conversation not too related to money, not too much complains, and most importantly not too fake. The more I came back, the more I realized that the meeting is not for me any more. It is for everyone else, allowing them to have the blagging power of having a promising friend overseas. This is why my gathering is always well received by my friends. Please do not misunderstand me as saying I am myself selfless. No, I am very selfish, because it is one of the few times that I can feel I am bigger than myself. Not about “me, me, me”, but “we, we, we”.

The first friend I want to mention is Mr. Q. I guess I feel that he slightly resembled the famous character by “Lu Xun”. Mr. Q. is pursuing his Ph.D. degree in Beida. One of the few friends who are still in college. He is a great guy, because he is always honest and straightforward. And nerdy. Just think about it. He was a party member already when he came to college 10 years ago! Because of his nerdiness, he was always picked up on by his “bad” roommates.

I actually always have a good time talking to him. I still remember the time when he and I could recite the script of “Da Hua Xi You”. Not like a lot of “so-called” friends, he never gave me credits that I did not deserved and praises that makes me feel patronized. I guess it is hard for him to survive in China just because of that, and I feel sad for that.

During our lunch together, he complained a lot about his Ph.D. study, and told me a lot of his career aspirations. His honesty really struck me, as my other friends were barely that trusting. You know, when you put all out, you are vulnerable to be hit hard, especially by stupid jokes and insincere praise.

I think he is worried about his future. He talked about the uselessness of his study, and looked for a job that could match the pay and status with his peers. He admired my overseas experiences, thinking I am in a much better positions that he is. He is reluctant to let me see his room and his wife. He even skipped the gathering. I feel that he is very conscious about his self-esteem, and felt ashamed by standing side-by-side with me and other friends that used to give him a hard time. Not surprisingly, I totally understood his dilemma.

I really wish him to get a great job and earn a lot of money. Not only because he deserved it, but because he is the one who will not use that as a status card to exploit and patronize other people, to make other people feel small and sorry. Next time if we meet again, I hope he will have less complains, and we could try to recite the scripts of some stupid movies again. I enjoy that, and I know he will enjoy that too, because deep down, both of us are nerds and always longing to take a breath from harsh reality.