Free souls

Hi, I guess the dance performance must keep me excited, so I want to write down how I felt in the past 24 hours. Last night it was very exciting. In the bed, my brain ran through almost the whole piece. Surprised by how clear my memory is. I seemed to be able to remember every small details of it. That was my best performance ever, I think.
When I got up this morning, Hope's flowers are still in the vase (actually, a beer pitcher), blossoming like wanting to show the world how brilliant the color of blue could be like. The flower really had a strange shape, having three padels and three other small padels. I imagine the flower as Hope herself, seeing me to manage a new bright day. Strange enough, I am so easy to be attached to female teacher, director or choreographer. In high school it is Gu Yuebo, and in college it is Gao Shen, and now it is Hope. I still not be able to figure that part of me out. Maybe I felt all the male mentor is too threatening, so that I never admitted they were my mentors. For females, it is easier for me to cave in and say, you've really helped me.
Anyway, come back to my day. I guess I said good morning Hope. I felt very exhausted. I am happy I felt that way, because Gao Shen used to tell that if you have a brilliant performance, the exhaustion is the prove. She predicted that I will fell that one day. See, history will come together eventually, and I am happy about the cohesiveness of my story, as the old ghost will come back to remind what a good life I will be leading to.
I went to dance class, and felt my body was free. I had a very nice conversation with paul, and I think I am a very good friend of him now. I feel I can pass the good energy to him, especailly when he is down. We jogged to the Dish and back. I then jogged more, felt much energy.
I then tried to start my dissertation proposal, but procrastination creeped in (See, I am writing blogs). But you know what, I can handle that, because I eblieve I am able to manage my life expert from now on.
By the way, I saw the girl again today. I included her email address in my mass-email invitation. I hope she would come, but she did not. Well, not so surprising. I stared at her and waved my hand, smiling. I guess I made a good gesture, and I feel I am fine right now. So many good things happening in my life right now, so that I can tolerate the only imperfection. i do not know what she is thinking, but I guess that's her problem now. I hope she will try to talk to me soon. I guess my last thought is quite shameful, as if that is my triumph. But I did think that way, so I am not going to erase it.
Some days passed by just like today, and I hope it is every day.