questioning my sexuality

Ok, I wrote down the title two weeks ago, but the decided to save it as draft for later discussions. I guess today is today. And I also guess this post is one of the most provocative of all.
I wonder how many Chinese people ever did that. For me, I have to do it because of my chronical failture in getting a romantic relationship with girls. If you are 27 and have only one brief relationship which stopped at the level of kissing, you'd better think about it. At least I do, partly thanks to the gay & lesbian theme dorm I am living in.
So am I gay? No. For most people, it is out of the question, because they have the prove of a stable relationship. For me, it is not that simple. It is just like your self-confidence will be gone if you do not have any concrete achievements. So I searched the web to see how people found out they were gay. Nothing fit me. Besides, I know I am sexually aroused by females rather than males, if you know what I mean here.
After clarifying that, the rest of the discussion is easy. I guess my sexuality is highly oppressed by the formal education in China. For example, I feel I have internalized the norms that if you hit on a girl, you are a bad guy. If you dance like a sexual animal, you are a bad guy. Stuff like that. I believe I am a highly self-controling person, but I just cannot steering myself away from this early internalization.
But you know what, something is changing slowly, I believe. The dance class, it turns out. I begin to feel liberated to do all sorts of movements, feminine or masculine. I am no longer shamed to do feminine movements, which I felt would hurt my maleness before. I am also no longer ashamed to do masculine movements, which I felt before was a bad guy's way to attract females. So I guess I am on the way out of my cocoon. By the way, a girl in the dance class approached me asking my name today, and I was flattered. I mean, not that i will like her or she will like me, but it is nice to know that your sexual existence is noticed by people around.