Hongkong and Hangzhou

I went to Hongkong for the job interview. I have to say that I was an instant hit in Hongkong. I was especially good in the Q&A session, as I nailed all the questions but still paid respects to those professors, some of which were smart while others were not. I got the job, though I was really not sure whether I should go.

On a related story, I saw AlphaBBQ again in Hongkong. We went to watch a dance show together. It was quite amazing. Here are some words I wrote down after I went back to the hotle.

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I think I have something to say to the blogs. Now I am in hongkong again, having this stupid job talk. I got this job (of course!), but do I really going to take it? Anyway, let’s not think about it right now.

I just watched the Cloud Gate Dance Troupe’s performance. I do not know how to describe how I liked it. The pieces are almost perfect in its own way, but I feel something is not right. It is just too well planned in small details that I do not get the whole point of the pieces.

Anyway, that’s not really important tonight. I saw Alphabbq again tonight, one month after our last encounter. I treated her the dance tickets and she treated me a late dinner. She looked tired, and I find my words were not able to cheer her up too much. I think I am not doing too well recently either. Many responsibilities I have taken this year have taken a toll on me, and I am just hanging on, trying so hard to be a "perfect" person. I guess everyone has those hard times, and she probably needs some good sleep. I am a little worried about her losing sleep, because when I am stressed out, sleeping is usually the first indication.

After I said goodbye to her in the train station, I felt sad. (Strange that I did not feel that way last time. For some reasons, I sorta know that I will come to Hongkong soon again. Not this time though). I was on the train, flipping over some sad coldplay songs on my ipod. I know I get into this emotional slump. Tomorrow is totally unknown, and every goodbye of today is just sad sad sad. Sometime I hope I can just break down one day, to really sort through my thoughts, to throw away those unnecessary burdens, and to emerge as a person with no history.

I am being stupid here. But hey, it is my blog, and I say whatever I want. Strange thing is: After I wrote it out, I am no longer sure whether it was what I intended to wrote to begin with. But what the heck!

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Now it is back to Feb 20, and I just read her blog about the same event. I always think her blogs are better in presenting the facts, as mine tends to be analytical so that the facts are actually distorted. Anyway, I have been reading her blogs quite closely. But the strange thing is: when I met her, I pretended that I was not reading her blogs. For example, I pretended not knowing her new hair style, although she posted the photos early on. I still do not know why. Maybe unconsciously, I regard reading a blog is equal to stalking a person, and I am not fond of admitting that.

Finally, there is this photo of "sogo". Every time I met Alphabbq, we would pass that same logo for some reason. In January, we met for two days, for each day I remembered the logo. On a third, when I was wandering in Hongkong at night alone, I passed it again. I took a picture of it, thinking whether I should ask her out for a walk again. I eventually refrained from that and chose to visit several museums by myself. This time we saw it again, and finally I realized that it is at the entrance of the train station, where we usually departed. No wonder! Now this photo seems to have more meanings for me: not only a location we passed together, but also an emotion of "goodbye".

Thanks for her wish of "good-luck", I did have a great time in Hangzhou. During my time in Hongkong, I felt this long distant relationship had taken a toll on me and my confidence got eroded quickly. However, meeting Zexum in person reassured me that it would be a huge pity if I missed this good girl. We had a most civil discussion about our relationship and I was assured that we were on the same page. We finally held hand the moment before I hopped on the bus, a moment I only wish happened earlier. Both of us have some decisions to make, and I am still not 100 percent sure. However, I am very optimistic now. I am going to call her in a minute.