Finally, one week is over

Hi, Finally one week of no-blog is over. I guess I am a quite disciplined person in the end, just sticking with my promise, even though the promise might be a bad idea to start with.
So where do I start this blog since I have so much to say?
Ok, anyone remember my blog of "Honesty" a couple of weeks ago? Well, the two secrets are no longer secrets to one person (let me call her D. here). I am still not sure whether confiding her with the second one is a good idea. Before I hed out for the coffee place with her, it was still a big "maybe". I myself have so much confusion on that, and I was afraid that no explanation would help. All my selfish actions have selfless excuses, and all the selfless actions contain a selfish motives (This applies to my disclosing of the secret. Now my burden is lifted, while leaving D. to interpret what this all means). Anyway, if D. is reading, I hope you will just take it as its face value.
I almost cried today when I talked to D. I has been a while since the last time I feel safe or ok to cry. Too many half-assed comments in the real life. They are numbing my heart and increasing my cynicism. But once a while I will get touched by my own words, which resonated in my mouth and hit some vulnerable strings in my chest. Just for the record, I almost cried when I talked about something like that: "It hurts even when you expect it, as if human rationality is no rival to emotions. Sometimes caring starts with a half-assed commitment, then you are just taken by surprise." The words here are fancier, but the meaning is equivalent.
Having a good time with D., I know I did badly to another friend. He called during our conversation, and I prmised him that I would call back soon. But it happened very late, and in the meanwhile I missed several of his other calls. I wouldn't say he is my friend, because a lot of times I took pity on him. He is unpopular and sometimes weird, but he is sincere and a good guy. I say this in a condescenting way. Yes, I know. But that's the way it is. I went out with him for dinner today more out of sympathy than friendship, but hey, at least I made him believe we are friends. Anyway, he has the virtue of forgiving me immediately for not calling him back soon enough. Thank you.
D. asked me whether I always do things like that to make other people feel better. Unfortunately, or fortunately, I do. But a lot of my friends do the same things to me all the time, and I feel great when I can spread their virtues to the people least cared by the mainstream. I am in a good position for them be feel less condescenting, because of my natural advantage of being international, being minority and being a loser in love life (the last point is really important, I found, because they also tend to be losers).

Yesterday I made a fake cake for one of my friend birthday on April 1st. The photo of the cake will be uploaded soon, because I am so proud of it. He will be the friend with the initial H in his name next